The Holiday Season in 2020
The Holiday Season in 2020
By Li Faustino, PhD
Every year the holidays present challenges to people with mood disorders. In myriad ways, the end of the year, starting after Halloween and going through New Year’s Day (and some might argue Valentine’s Day) bring several traditions that carry possible stressors.
People with mood disorders are just as vulnerable to these stressors as anyone else.
People with mood disorders are just as vulnerable to these stressors as anyone else.
Stressors include family gatherings, travel, financial status, relationship status, substance abuse, and weather.
But all the components of stress impact each of us in different ways. We can keep in mind that what may cause stress in some is associated with health and tension- reduction for others. A good example of this is family gatherings. For many, being around family is supportive, cuts down on isolation, they eat better food, interact more and connect with others. However, for some, family get-togethers are highly toxic and critical and lead to more isolation and maybe increased substance use. Now, let’s factor in the pandemic. Some families cannot or will not gather due to building risk numbers. This might be helpful for some but a huge loss for others. Some families will agree or disagree on what to do about their holiday gatherings. This, itself, may turn what is normally a nice gathering into a problematic one filled with strife.
The variables that tend to come up during the holidays are: -family gatherings (are they helpful or stressful or a little of both?) -travel (does travel make you un-easy or do you prefer a change in scenery?)
-financial status (Can you afford presents, cooking, travel?) -relationship status (Is your family critical of your partner or lack of one?)
-substance abuse (Does your family drink together or use other substances, does the stress bring about more usage?)
-weather (does the cold weather or shorter days affect your mood?)
One of the best things we can do is to know ourselves and take steps toward as much self-care as possible. It can only help to know what helps you and what hurts you. Understandably, we cannot always extract ourselves from every stressful situation, but we can take steps to modify them so they are better for us or supplement our self-care rituals further. For instance, if you have no choice but to be alone on thanksgiving, set up more activities for yourself that you usually enjoy such as walking, support groups, or art projects. The same can apply if you have no choice but to see a family you do not want to see. Can you sandwich your holiday gathering with other more relaxing activities?
-financial status (Can you afford presents, cooking, travel?) -relationship status (Is your family critical of your partner or lack of one?)
-substance abuse (Does your family drink together or use other substances, does the stress bring about more usage?)
-weather (does the cold weather or shorter days affect your mood?)
One of the best things we can do is to know ourselves and take steps toward as much self-care as possible. It can only help to know what helps you and what hurts you. Understandably, we cannot always extract ourselves from every stressful situation, but we can take steps to modify them so they are better for us or supplement our self-care rituals further. For instance, if you have no choice but to be alone on thanksgiving, set up more activities for yourself that you usually enjoy such as walking, support groups, or art projects. The same can apply if you have no choice but to see a family you do not want to see. Can you sandwich your holiday gathering with other more relaxing activities?
One of the most valuable processes that occur in MDSG support groups is that people share their individual stories. It can be helpful to know that your own experience is similar to others and feel connected by these experiences instead of alone. It also helps with perspective. Perspective is usually tricky because people who are depressed often feel that if others “have it worse,” then they feel guilty for suffering themselves if their situation is not as bad. They feel bad about feeling bad. One benefit of this happening within a support group environment is that since others in the group do it, they often recognize when someone is doing this to themselves and they can address it with something vali-
dating. They may let that person know that every level of emotion is relevant. They usually tell others that it is ok to feel bad about their family even if someone else’s family seems worse. In other words, the spiral of guilt (I feel bad and now I feel bad about feeling bad) is likely to get broken in the support group because people are validating each other at the moment.
In many ways, the holidays this year promise to look different from any other year due to the pandemic. For many, there will not be any gatherings. Whether or not this is a positive thing for you, it is best to take measures as you would for any other challenge in your life. Keep up routines, keep as interactive as possible, whether it is outside with friends or virtual with friends or support groups. Keep up with or start any form of exercise and movement, watch your sleep and try to stay on schedule, watch your eating and be mindful about eating when hungry and stopping eating when you are not hungry. Lastly, keep all your doctor and therapy appointments, not only for checking in about symptoms and keeping structure but also because processing emotions from challenging situations with mental health professionals is often more helpful than keeping it all inside.
Li Faustino is Chair of the MDSG Board.
In many ways, the holidays this year promise to look different from any other year due to the pandemic. For many, there will not be any gatherings. Whether or not this is a positive thing for you, it is best to take measures as you would for any other challenge in your life. Keep up routines, keep as interactive as possible, whether it is outside with friends or virtual with friends or support groups. Keep up with or start any form of exercise and movement, watch your sleep and try to stay on schedule, watch your eating and be mindful about eating when hungry and stopping eating when you are not hungry. Lastly, keep all your doctor and therapy appointments, not only for checking in about symptoms and keeping structure but also because processing emotions from challenging situations with mental health professionals is often more helpful than keeping it all inside.
Li Faustino is Chair of the MDSG Board.
